Do You Want to Build a Server

To the tune of “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” by Kristen Bell

Junior Bro:
Bro?
Do you want to build a server?
Come on let’s go and code
I never see your push commits
Or your tickets,
It’s like you’ve gone away
We used to be code buddies
And now we’re not
I wish you would tell me why
Do you want to build a server?
It doesn’t have to be a server

Senior Brotato: GTFO bro

Junior Bro: kthx bye

Junior Bro:
Do you want to build a server
Or push commits at the pub?
I think some tickets are way overdue
I’ve started talking to
HR lad down the halls
(Hang in there, bro!)
It gets a little lonely
All these empty chatrooms
Just watching the hours tick by
(Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock)

Junior Bro:
Bro?
Please I know you’re in there,
People are asking where you’ve been,
They say, “have a NOS”;
And I’m trying to,
I’m right out here for you
Just let me in
We only have each other
It’s just you and me
What are we gonna do?
Do you want to build a server? (sniff)

Wherever I May Code

To the tune of “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica

(And the code becomes my guide)

And the code becomes my guide
I have strip() of all but cried
So in it I do confide
And it keeps me mollified
Gives me all I need

And with pressed in keys I crave
Only knowledge will I save
To the game you stay a slave

Coder, ponderer
Hacker, vagrant-oh
Call me what you will

But I’ll take my time() anywhere
Free to write my lines anywhere
And I’ll refactor anywhere

Anywhere I code
Where I lay my hand is home

(And the net becomes my throne)

And the net becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
Under flamer’s wars I’ve grown
By myself but not alone
I query not one

And my lines are commited clean
Stress I have, core I gain
Off the patterns I feign

Coder, ponderer
Hacker, vagrant-oh
Call me what you will

But I’ll take my time() anywhere
Free to write my lines anywhere
And I’ll refactor anywhere

Anywhere I code
Where I lay my hand is home

But I’ll take my time() anywhere
Free to write my lines anywhere
And I’ll refactor anywhere

Anywhere I code
Where I lay my hand is home
I say!

But I’ll take my time() anywhere
Free to write my lines anywhere
And I’ll refactor anywhere

Anywhere I code
Where I lay my hand is home

Printed upon my term
My console lie, but still I code
Yeah yeah!

Wherever I may code
Wherever I may code
Whoa!

Wherever I may code
Wherever I may code
Yeah!

Wherever I may ponder, ponder ponder
Wherever I may code

Yeah, yeah, wherever I may code

Yeah, yeah, wherever I may code
Wherever I may code
Wherever I may code

The Miner’s Creed

I believe in Veldspar, the Ore Almighty, Generator of the lowly Tritanium;
And in the Plagioclase and Scordite, our load:
Pyroxeres, but only of Viscous nature.
Suffer under Low Security, avoiding gank, to obtain Omber and Kernite.
We descended into null; obtained Bistot, Mercoxit and Glaze;
We ascended into high sec, warped to the farthest veld asteroid belt;
From thence we shall mine Veldspar and Scordite.
I believe in the Viscous Pyroxere, the boost of the Orca, the communion of miners,
The forgiveness of ganks, the re-cloning of the self, and ore everlasting.
Aw yeah.

Minin’ Dirty

To the tune of “Ridin'” by Chamillionaire

[Chorus]
They see me floatin’
They hatin’
Patrollin they tryin to catch me minin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me minin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me minin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me minin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me minin’ dirty
My cargo so full
I’m warpin
They hopin they gon to catch me minin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me minin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me minin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me minin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me minin’ dirty

[Seres Kashuken]
CONCORD think they can scan me down
I’m cloaked so it ain’t easy to be found
When you see me fly by they can see the ground
And my afterburner and M W D
Fly with my new ship, it all filled up
Next to the spacestation dock lane is a full fleet and a bubble
Turn a hauler into some rubble
Boy ain’t you know, I’m crazy like Eri Carrell
Just tryin to mine ain’t tryin to have no gankins
Rock clean itself so I pull in salvage
Laws of patrolling you know they hate me
Lasers turned all the way up until the maximum
I can speak for some miners trying to mine for some
But we packin something that we have and um will have miner caught up in the clone vat bay
Cloning cell, I’m drippin wet
Lasers hot and cuttin wide
Burn and burnin like hit this ‘roid
CONCORD warp in from behind and is at his side
Comms are down gotta stop chattin’
Cycles change miners like what is that pulling?
This the Hemorphite when we went wormhole cruisin’
Got bounty from every corp except SacX but I’m still ain’t losin’

[Chorus]

[Eri Carrell]
I been loadin and unloadin holdin shit cause a sister can’t focus
I gotta fly home ‘fore the co co’s scan this big ol Orca floatin all up in the belt man
Miner been strippin on that Spodumain and the veld again is in again we in the wind
Goin ninety-six while I scan for that cunt
And scannin another one up, we livin like we ain’t givin a fuck
I got a turret on my right side, 40 mindflood in my hold freezin my blood
Pull a miner flee, leave drones and all
Comin pretty steep, me and my Rorqual
I gotta get back to the headquarters
Wanted by the co co and I got hot turret shots to the hull we creep creep
Pop pop hope ‘cord don’t see me, in another warp
With no regards for the law we dodge em like fuck em all
But I won’t get caught up and podded up for none of y’all
Keep a turret on hold, and some or in hold, but well if you want, miner you fallin’ hard
Ready or not we bust shots off in the air Seres Kashuken and Eri Carrell

[Chorus]

[Seres Kashuken]
Do what you thinkin so, I tried to let you go
Turn up a blink of light and I flew it slower
A miner upset for sure cause they think they know that they catchin me with plenty of the plag and morph
So they get up next to me to scan down my coords, look at Local and they smilin’
Thinkin they’ll catch me on the wrong well keep tryin’
Cause they denying is miner profilin’
CONCORD you can check my bio
Bubble me up try to check my haul
Corp wallet gotta get my cash
Cause the crooked corps try to come up fast
And been a miner that I am I talk to them, giving a damn bout not feeling my attitude
When they realize I ain’t even minin’ dirty bet you’ll be leaving with an even madder mood
I’mma laugh at you then I’mma have to cruise I’m in number two on some more wormhole crew
You can’t pod me plus you can’t sue
This a message to the laws tellen them WE HATE YOU
I can’t be touched or tell ’em that they shoulda thought
Tippin’ down, sittin’ crooked in my pod
Settin’ some orders, tryin’ to find an item I wanna hawk
Like they couldn’t stop me I’mma ’bout to pull up at your home and it’s on

[Chorus 2x]

Amazing Fort

To the tune of “Amazing Horse” by Weebl’s Stuff

Look at my fort, my fort is amazing
Give it a kick,
Ooh it feels just like sandstone
Have a pull on this chain it raises its gate
And then it lowers again when you tug on this lever
Ooh that’s fancy!
Do you think so?
Well now I want to show you where the dwarven milk is made
Sweet dwarven milk, mmm sweet dwarven milk
Sweet dwarven milk, yeah sweet dwarven milk

Look at my fort, I’ll take you round the dining hall and all the other places too
I think you’ll find that the dining hall pretty much is everything

Shut up Dorfy, look at my fort!